Bad vibes in the workplace are not only detrimental to staff morale and productivity they can also have a negative effect on your health and wellbeing, not to mention your career prospects. Every way you look at it, it is a good idea to learn to control your anger at work.
Article as it appeared in Essays of Africa magazine. By Kim Garner
You can read the article "How's Your Relationship with Yourself?" here.
Article as it appeared in Khuluma - Kulula's in-flight magazine, which can also be found online. By Katherine Graham
You can read the article here on page 127: http://www.khulumaonline.co.za/mags/2016_09_september/index.html#/128
California in the USA, is portrayed as the land of summer sunshine, with its beaches, fruit trees, vineyards and fun in the sun. So when I was due to visit California one June I bought new summer clothes suitable for the hot weather I was expecting.
My first day out in Los Angeles, however, had me rushing back from the beach to change into jeans and a sweater because I was uncomfortably chilly. I never wore my new summer clothes in California at all because compared to the summer climate in Durban that I was used to, California was not really hot. I had not looked up a temperature table for the cities I would be visiting, when I assumed it would be hot in California.
The life lesson here is to never to assume you understand the meaning of ‘relative’ words like hot, cold, early and late. Check them out – ask questions and try to get objective measures. What is extremely hot for one person may be chilly for another, and what is ‘early’ for someone may be ‘late’ for someone else.
Most of us think we know how to have a conversation and so do it without thinking, but there is actually an art to conversation and it’s a skill well worth developing. If we want to do it correctly we must avoid the following common errors...
In our hectic, modern lifestyles, most of us focus so heavily on work and family commitments that we never seem to have time for pure fun. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we stopped playing. Even when we do make time for leisure, we're more likely to sit in front of the TV or computer than engage in fun, rejuvenating play like we did as children. But the reality is that we don’t have to take ourselves so seriously just because we’re adults. By giving ourselves permission to play with the joyful abandon of childhood, we will reap a variety of health benefits throughout life.
While based in Cannes, working on a privately owned luxury yacht, I was asked by the Captain of another yacht if I would help him bring his yacht back from San Remo, just over the French border in Italy. His own crew were all on leave and he desperately needed someone to assist. As it was to be my day off and it sounded like hard work, I was reluctant to help, but I also realised that if I said no he would be hard pushed to find anyone else so I agreed.
The Captain and I set off at dawn on the designated day and took the train to San Remo. We sailed back to Cannes in perfect weather conditions and I had nothing to do except sit back and enjoy the trip. On arrival in Cannes I was well paid for my time and still had some of my day off to enjoy. It turned out to be the easiest day’s work I have ever done!
The lesson here is that when you have the chance to do something for someone else, with no expectation of reward, seize the opportunity. One can never anticipate the good fortune that can come out of an act of goodwill.
This article is one of a three-part series on Transactional Analysis. It follows on from the articles “Transactional Analysis – Part I (The Masks we Wear)” and “Transactional Analysis – Part II (The Games we Play)”. This article (Part III), is an outline of two more of the key concepts in Transactional Analysis – Life Positions and Life Scripts.
Based on decisions made in infancy, we assume one of four basic psychological life positions, which to a large extent determines our pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving. The challenge is to become aware of our life position and if necessary, create a healthy alternative.
The four life positions were developed by Frank Ernst into the well-known OK Corral shown in this poster.
Read Transactional Analysis – Part III (The Scripts We Follow) for details of the four life positions.
While travelling in Córdoba, Spain, I visited the Great Mosque of Córdoba. It is a beautiful and fascinating building that symbolizes the many religious changes Córdoba has undergone over the centuries. Today, the Mezquita is the Cathedral of Córdoba, but the vast majority of its art and architecture is the work of Islamic architects, who built it as a mosque in the 8th century. . The shell-shaped ceiling of the magnificent Mihrab is carved from a single block of marble and the chambers on either side are decorated with exquisite Byzantine mosaics of gold. The worn flagstones indicate where pilgrims crouched on their knees.
I wanted a sense of the visual perspective which the pilgrims had, and so I knelt down on the floor to view the Mihrab. Within seconds I had two security guards bearing down on me shouting and gesticulating that I must immediately stand up. Little did I know that since the early 2000s Spanish Muslims have lobbied the Roman Catholic Church to allow them to pray in the cathedral, only to be rejected on multiple occasions. My innocent action appeared to be a challenge/protest and the guards were not having it!
The lesson here is to be aware that simple, innocent actions can be deeply offensive to others. It is important to be aware of rules, customs and etiquette when visiting unfamiliar places.