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Equipped to...Value Yourself
This newsletter is based on my YOU-Q concept, and its three key areas of focus – Get Real, Change Your Head Talk, and Relate.
We are three weeks into 2013, and many of those well-intentioned but ultimately ill-fated new year’s resolutions are probably already a distant memory. It’s the same thing as last year, and probably the year before that.
Why not make this year different?
Instead of simply resolving to try harder next year, why not make one single resolution, right now, that you can stick to.
Resolve to live your values.
Values are the principles we use to determine right and wrong, good and bad. Knowing your values is important, because values give you direction. If you have to make a decision in life, it is your values that will help you make that decision. Your values act as your compass, and you need to know where your true north is if you want to stay true to your path in life.
Read the Values poster on my website to help you choose your values.
Let me share with you a personal example. A while ago, I was offered a phenomenal job in Johannesburg. The salary was fantastic, the perks were excellent, and I would have enjoyed the work.
My little eyes flashed Dollar signs, just like in the cartoons, and I was extremely tempted, but at the same time I was ambivalent – I didn’t want to work for someone else, I didn’t want a job with regular hours, and I didn’t want to move from my home in Durban - where I was close to my family - to Johannesburg.
Being confused and uncertain, I did what many of us do – I asked a few people for their opinion. Almost everyone said I should take the job because it was a great financial move – but no one understood what was most important for me.
In the end it was my values that helped me to decide. I turned the job down because it wasn’t right for me. It didn’t offer independence, it didn’t offer variation and it didn’t allow me to see my beloved nephews.
It would have given me lots of money, but money is not my true north.
How Do I Find My True North?
Take a look at the Values listed on my website. To decide which of these values are most important to you - the ones you want to live your life by - take the time to go on a journey...
Then, for the next week, make a note of every time you have an intense emotional reaction to something. It can be any emotion - anger, fear, frustration, joy, excitement etc. It is likely that you are reacting like this because your values have been touched. For example, if your boyfriend reneged on an arrangement to come to dinner with your family and went out with his friends instead, this shows a lack of respect for you, your family, and the agreement. Respect is thus obviously an important value to you and, because your boyfriend’s behaviour went against this value, you experienced an emotional reaction.
Once you have compiled a list of your values, keep shifting them around until you have just three core values by which you want to live your life. Your number 1 value should be that one thing that, no matter what, you will not compromise.
Values are not static and your current life circumstances will influence your priorities. Go with the process and don’t try and judge it or make it “right”. You will probably find that some values are consistently at the top, while others shift in priority, based on life events.
Have Something To Say?
I would love to hear how your journey went. Please let me know how you discovered your true values.
Watch out for my next newsletter where you will be
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