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Cope with Conflict - At Work
What Is Conflict?
Conflict occurs when the actions of one party attempting to reach its goals prevent, block or interfere with the actions of another party attempting to reach its goals.
Everyone experiences conflict in the workplace. Whether it's the odd disagreement with a colleague, or a continual state of tension caused by personality differences, every relationship will experience unrest at some point. If left unresolved, conflict can quickly grow into personal dislike and an eventual breakdown in co-operation and team work.
Skillfully managed, however, discord at your desk can actually become the starting point for personal, professional, and organisational growth.
Isn't Conflict Resolution Another Way of Saying, Give In To Keep The Peace?
Giving in is certainly one way of dealing with a conflict situation, but it isn't always very satisfactory, and can lead to resentment, which can damage the relationship even further. There are more effective ways to deal with conflict, ensuring you end up with a much better result than a watery compromise brokered in the name of creating a "win-win" situation.
I'm going to show you how to Cope With Conflict! How to feel good about what you say during difficult conversations, and how to deal with discord with grace and courage.
The Five Conflict Strategies
There are five basic strategies we can use to manage conflicts. Each of these strategies is appropriate at different times. Which strategy you use depends on the ratio of how important the goals are to you, versus how important the relationship is to you. The strategies are:
- Soothing
- Withdrawing
- Forcing
- Compromising
- Negotiating
(Full details of how and when to use each of these styles, together with a comprehensive article on successful Conflict Resolution, can be found on my website, www.clairenewton.co.za)
Practical Guidelines for Coping with Conflict
Practice these proven Do's and Don'ts and you will be amazed at how well you are able to resolve conflict situations.
DO:
- Move away from all distractions (TV, PC etc)
- Wait your turn - allow the other person to talk uninterrupted, and LISTEN to what they're saying.
- Choose your words carefully, and make comments meaningful.
- Be prepared to concede if necessary, but push for your own concessions if needed.
- Take time out if things become too heated
- Smile
DON'T:
- Make assumptions and guesses
- Make sweeping generalisations
- Lay blame
- Have to be right/win all the time
- Criticise, or show contempt
- Bring up past wrongs
- Be defensive.
What's next?
Watch out for my next newsletter where you will be E-Quipped to Communicate With Courage
Tip! Save these newsletters and accumulate the series on Build Better Relationships
Image by KaiChanVong
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