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E-Quipped to…Survive the Silly Season – It’s All Relative!

This newsletter draws on the comprehensive articles Attention On Assertiveness and Coping With Conflict, which can be found on my website.

The sudden realisation that the end-of-year madness is here again can be quite overwhelming. You still have work deadlines to meet, office parties to survive, shopping to do… On top of all this, many of us will have the extra responsibility of dealing with The Family Visit.

Spending time under one roof with extended family, at what is arguably the busiest time of the year, is certain to cause a little stress and anxiety. Trying to cope and still maintain an air of festive spirit can defeat even the most determined optimist.

But there is hope! You CAN survive a Silly Season with the rellies – and here’s how:

Read "Attention On Assertiveness" ; "Coping With Conflict"

Coping with Conflict

Conflict in itself is not always a bad thing – it can clear the air, open up communication channels and make other people aware of your needs and wants. The secret lies in how you handle it.

Fending off Family Fights

The Teddy Bear (smoothing) – Give up your own goals to “keep the peace.” Use when a family member feels strongly about something and you could not care less.

The Tortoise (withdrawing) - Avoid the person and the issue. If a situation is out of control – for example, if a family member becomes verbally and/or physically aggressive - then withdrawing is the most appropriate strategy.

The Shark (forcing) – If you’ve spent ages preparing Christmas lunch and you want everyone to come to the table, but they are all busy swimming or watching TV, what you want has to take priority.

Be forceful. It’s OK sometimes! Be sure to be assertive, not aggressive - there is a big difference!

The Fox (compromising) – If you want everyone to spend time together as a family but others want to split up and do different things, work out a compromise that gives everyone a bit of what they want.

The Owl (negotiating) - Create win-win situations – get this right and your family will love you even more than they do already!

Read more about conflict resolution in my article Coping With Conflict

Read "Coping With Conflict"

Assert Yourself

As a host, it’s natural to want to meet everyone’s needs. Sometimes, however, this will simply be impossible. This is when a few simple assertiveness techniques work wonders!

Assertive Behaviour

• Stay calm
• Look directly at the other person while addressing them
• Maintain an open body posture
• Stand your ground
• Keep your tone of voice firm, but calm

How To Say No

You have a right to say no to something which feels uncomfortable, or which you simply cannot do. Here’s how:

• Acknowledge the other person’s request (“I realise that…”)
• Say no ("Unfortunately I’m not able…”)
• Give a brief reason for declining (optional)
• If possible, suggest an alternative proposal (“Perhaps we could…”)

Read more about becoming more assertive in my article Attention on Assertiveness.

Read "Attention On Assertiveness"

Image by: Lars Plougmann

What's next?

Watch out for my next newsletter where you will be E-Quipped to...Get Around To It – The Perversity of Procrastination!

Tip!Save these newsletters and accumulate the series on Surviving The Silly Season.

Regards

More about me

My goal in creating these newsletters is to inspire you to make the changes necessary to ultimately live the life of your dreams! On my website you'll find more ideas to get you thinking about life, love, work and other important STUFF - all based on my work as a practicing psychologist, speaker, trainer and life coach (and hat lover!)

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