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Equipped to...Give Corporal Punishment a Permanent Time-Out

This newsletter introduces , Behaviour Modification: Giving the Boot to Corporal Punishment a comprehensive article found on my website. 

If you have been a child, have a child, mind a child, or are a child there are plenty of reasons to celebrate National Youth Month this June with child-like abandon.  It’s also a great time to take a “time-out” to discuss the future of discipline to ensure that our children stay children for as long as possible. 

Read Behaviour Modification: Giving the Boot to Corporal Punishment

The Effect of Punishment

One of the main reasons we celebrate National Youth Month is to commemorate those children who have suffered and/or died around the world due to natural and man-made atrocities.   We recognise the powerlessness of children in most of these situations, but we tend to forget how powerless they are in their own homes.  Punishment tends to reinforce that helplessness, as the control is entirely in the hands of the parent^1].  The child is powerless. The child learns that the consequences for his or her behaviour come from external sources. They do not learn to internalise discipline. Children learn to be obedient only to avoid punishment, but will not consider behaviour as incorrect if it is not discovered and punished.

• Explain the rules and why specific behaviours are acceptable or not. Without explanations, children tend to focus on whether they will be punished instead of trying to understand why the act is wrong.

• Be consistent.  Parents should be consistent in their demands as well as in the rules they make.

• The timing of the punishment is important. It should be given just after the misbehaviour has occurred or just at the beginning. Punishment hours later will have much less effect.

• A mother must not wait until the father gets home (or vice versa) so that he can punish their child for a misdeed done earlier that day. Not only is it too late, but is also illustrates to the child the powerlessness of the mother to enforce discipline.

• Beware the consequences of your choice of punishment.  It could achieve the opposite of what you would like to achieve. For example, physical punishment for aggression tends to increase aggression instead of reducing it. (Any punishment that mirrors the action being punished effectively reinforces the action as a way to achieve your own ends.)

• It should also be noted that giving in to a child’s demands (“I want ice cream now!”) because of your own frustration or embarrassment increases the likelihood of recurrence and escalates the degree of that naughty behaviour. 

^[1]  “Parent” or “parents” refers to a singular parent, caretaker, guardian or a pair of them working in unison, if such is the case.

To find out more read "Behaviour Modification: Giving the Boot to Corporal Punishment”

The Power of Reinforcement

Children normally aim to please their parents. By acknowledging good behaviour and ignoring the bad, parents are effectively influencing and modifying their children’s behaviour.  This is Positive Reinforcement (or Behaviour Modification), a form of discipline that is designed to increase desirable behaviour.  Successfully given, this form of discipline contributes in the development of well-adjusted individuals with a good sense of self-esteem.   As US president “Honest Abe” Lincoln once said: “When I do good I feel good.  When I do bad I feel bad.  That’s my religion.”  Children can learn at an early age to become their own moral compass.

In administering positive reinforcement, rewards can be given in a tangible form, such as giving gifts or special privileges, or in an intangible form as in giving praise. There should be a mix of both tangible and intangible forms of reward but minimising the giving of tangible awards keeps the child from doing the right thing simply to get a gift.

Negative Reinforcement is the taking away (removal) of something horrible or unpleasant. For example, telling the child: “As soon as you have tidied your room you can go and play.” (Removal of the rule, “You must stay in your room until it is tidy”)  This puts the control in the child’s hands. The child decides how quickly they tidy their room – they can do it quickly or slowly, but however long it takes, they have to tidy it before they may go and play.  

What is Time-out?

Time-out is like solitary confinement.  Forbidding social interaction by making the child sit on their own – facing a wall or corner of the room, or being sent away to another room all together – can be done as a form of punishment but is more effective in the form of negative reinforcement.  For example: “I am really cross that you deliberately broke your toy in a temper. Now go to your room and think about why I am so cross and, when you are ready to come and say sorry, I will be here ready to listen.” 

Children want to please. Knowing that their parent is disappointed in them is enough to cause great distress for a child. When the child is in control is also useful for teaching the child to manage their emotions (and develop their emotional intelligence). When you tell the child to go to their room until they have calmed down and are ready to come out and play nicely, you are showing them that sometimes it is good for all of us to take time-out to calm down and regain control. 

 To find out more read "Behaviour Modification: Giving the Boot to Corporal Punishment”

Have something to say?

I would love to hear your experiences of behaviour modification. Please share your stories with us. Click here to comment.

Image by: Nomadic Lass

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More About Me

My goal is to inspire you to make the changes necessary to live the life of your dreams! I believe that by developing your YOU-Q - the term I have created to describe your unique intelligence, creativity and wisdom – you can find your Inner winner and live a Be-YOU-tiful life right now. On my website you'll find more ideas to get you thinking about life, love, work and other important STUFF - all based on my work as a practicing psychologist, speaker, trainer and life coach (and hat lover!)

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