What is Assertiveness?
Simply put, assertiveness is the ability to express your thoughts and feelings in a way that clearly states your needs, while keeping the lines of communication open with others.
Assertiveness is thus an attitude and a way of acting in any situation where you need to:
- Express your feelings
- Ask for what you want, or
- Say no to something you do not want.
Assertiveness, therefore, involves being aware of your feelings and needs, and knowing what you want. It also involves believing that you have a right to those feelings and needs. Being assertive means you give yourself and your particular needs the same respect and dignity you would give anyone else's.
 Find out the key differences between being assertive, and being aggressive.
What are my Rights?
As adults, we all have certain basic rights. Often though, we have either forgotten them, or else were never taught to believe in them in the first place. When you are assertive, you are conscious of your basic rights as a human being.
These rights include:
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The right to decide how to lead your life. (This includes pursuing your own goals and dreams, and establishing your own priorities).
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The right to ask for what you want.
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The right to be treated with dignity and respect (and to tell others how you wish to be treated).
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The right not to be responsible for others' behaviour, actions, feelings, or problems.
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The right to say no/I don't know/I don't understand, or even, I don't care (without feeling guilty).
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The right to change your mind, make mistakes, and sometimes act illogically (with full understanding and acceptance of the consequences).
Click here to download a free My Basic Rights Poster.
Isn't it Selfish to Assert my Rights?
Many people do feel that attending to their legitimate needs and asserting their rights is being selfish. This is simply not true! Selfishness means only being concerned about your rights, with little or no regard for others. Implicit in your rights is the fact that you are concerned about the legitimate rights of others as well.
Remember you have the role of both the receiver and the giver of these rights.
Image by: Nesri
Have Something to say?
Before reading this newsletter, were you aware of your basic rights as a human being? If not, has this new knowledge changed to way you plan to interract with people? Please share your thoughts.
What's Next?
Watch out for my next newsletter where you will be
E-Quipped to...Analyse Addiction - are you a sex Addict?
Regards
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