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E-Quipped to...Be Sensitive to Suicide

This newsletter refers to 'Suicide Sensitivity', a comprehensive article found on my website.

Last month the world heard the shocking news of Robin Williams’ suicide and we learned that this brilliant actor and comedian, who had brought so much laughter to our own lives and who seemed to have everything going for him, had been suffering from severe depression.

This tragic death brought the fact that so many people who suffer from depression end their lives through suicide and mental illness, depression and suicide was the topic everyone was talking about – although very often with little understanding of this complex issue.

September 10th was World Suicide Prevention Day and so this month is a good time to gain an understanding of suicide and learn more about the causes, the signs and signals to look out for and what can be done to prevent such tragedies.

Myths

There is much ignorance about suicide, and if we are going to do anything to prevent it, we need to debunk the myths surrounding it and understand it better.  Here are four common myths about suicide:

Myth: People who are going to kill themselves don't normally talk about it.  They just go ahead and do it.
Reality: Most people either talk about it or do something to indicate that they are going to kill themselves.  There is no need to blame yourself if you didn't see it coming, but if you are worried about someone you know, make sure you read all about the warning signs (see below) you may see before a suicide attempt, and also find out what you can do to help (see below).

Myth: Those who threaten suicide won’t carry it out – it is just a cry for attention.
Reality: Although those who keep their plans secret are more predisposed to lethal intent, those who threaten suicide very often do carry it out. All suicide threats must be taken seriously. If it is a cry for attention, instead of dismissing it, we should be asking ourselves: “Why does this person have to resort to these drastic measures to get attention?” and “What can I do to give them the attention they are crying out for?”

Myth: If they failed in an attempt it means they don’t really want to succeed.
Reality: They just got it wrong or were found out too early. Chances are that they will try again.

Myth: It is a bad idea to ask people if they are suicidal.  Talking about suicide might give them the idea that they should kill themselves.
Reality: On the contrary, talking about suicide will help someone considering suicide to deal with some of the heavy issues involved and diffuse the tension. A willingness to listen shows the suicidal person that people care and are willing to help.

For seven more myths about suicide read Suicide Sensitivity.

Warning Signs to Watch Out For

Although some people will deliberately keep it secret, most people either talk about it or do something to indicate that they are going to kill themselves and want these signs to be seen. The fact that the signs go unnoticed serves only to deepen their conviction that nobody cares.

Here are a few warning signs you may see in someone considering suicide. If you pick up any of these signs, ask the person directly if they are thinking of killing themselves. Take them seriously and seek professional help.

Behavioural Clues

• Giving away prized possessions
• A visit to a doctor/medical specialist followed by a sudden withdrawal
• Talking or joking about suicide. Death becomes a favourite conversation topic
• Preparations: buying sleeping pills, gun, etc.
• Having several accidents resulting in injury, ‘close calls’ or ‘brushes with death’.

Verbal Clues

• “I’m not sure I can take it anymore.”
• “It’s hopeless. Nothing is going to change my situation.”
• “Life is just not worth living anymore.”
• “I just want to end it.”
• “Everyone will be better off if I were dead.”

Please read Suicide Sensitivity for more warning signs to look out for – you may just save a loved ones’ life.

What NOT to Say

A lot! Never say the following:

• “Go ahead and do it – I won’t stop you!” The person will feel you don’t care and feel even more alienated. They may be encouraged to call your bluff.
• “So it’s the easy option you want – the coward’s way out”. Suicidal people experience an appalling amount of emotional pain and their self-esteem is so low that they are defenceless against criticism like this. It will make them feel even more useless than they already feel.
• “Don’t be selfish.” Suicidal people very often commit suicide as an act of selflessness – they feel a burden to others.
• Never minimise their feelings by saying things like: “Come on that doesn’t sound so bad.”; “Just snap out of it.”; “But you have everything to live for.” Remember in their mind it is bad, they can’t snap out of it and they don’t think they have anything to live for. Rather spend time finding out why they think as they do and getting them professional help.

What to do

Please read Suicide Sensitivity for a comprehensive explanation of what to do if you suspect somebody wants to commit suicide or has attempted it already.

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