E-Quipped to... Change Your Life Script!

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E-Quipped to...Change Your Life Script!

This newsletter introduces "Transactional Analysis Part III – The Scripts We Follow", a comprehensive article found on my website.

Ever wondered why your life seems like a movie being played over and over again – the same patterns repeating themselves, and the same messages running through your head? It’s because this is exactly what IS happening, according to Eric Berne and his Theory of Transactional Analysis.

life script

Image by: James Drury

According to TA, when we were still very young, we created a vision, based on our experiences, of how the world was. And while we did not yet have the facilities to do reality testing, we decided how to behave, what to think, what to say and not say, and what to feel or not feel. We knew what we had to do to survive, and that's what we did – we did whatever it took to get our needs met.

This became what TA calls our “Life Script”. We wrote it as children and now as adults, we direct it and act in it, just like a good movie. There are two problems however:

What worked in childhood most likely is not working in adulthood, and
Our script operates at an unconscious level, out of our awareness. (We behave in certain ways but are not aware of what we are doing or why we are doing it).

For more about life scripts read: Transactional Analysis – Part III (The Scripts We Follow)

Our life script is the source of our game playing. We play games when we don't, or won't, ask for what we want directly. As a child we may have learned that asking for what we want did not work well, so we learned to play games to get our needs met. One example of this is the child who acts out to get attention, even if it is negative attention – being yelled at and maybe even spanked. The child knows that it needs strokes (physical and psychological contact) to survive and grow, and if the child cannot get loving, nurturing attention, it will find a way to get ANY attention. This child's script may be that he/she is not lovable and there is not enough love to go around. Carried into adult relationships this script can be very destructive.

For more about strokes read: Transactional Analysis – Part II (The Games We Play)

One of the tenets of TA psychotherapy is to uncover the games, stop playing them and ask for what we want directly. This serves to terminate or change the old script and create a new, healthy script to live by. Therapists would work with clients to uncover the sources of their decisions, teach clients how to reality test their decisions, and then invite them to create new decisions.

The greatest power of understanding your life script is in the ability this gives you to change it, so take action to discover your own life script (or help others to do so). One of the ways you can do this is to listen to yourself:

What are the stories you are telling yourself about your life?
When do you say 'that's not me' or 'I couldn't do that'?
What are the patterns you seek and avoid?
What excuses do you make for not doing things?

And then consider how these could change.

Rewriting your life script will change your life for the better!

What do YOU Think?

Share your wisdom with others… How have you made changes to your life script?

Leave your comments here

Life Lessons

My Life lesson Learnt in Mezquita de Córdoba

While travelling in Córdoba, Spain, I visited the Great Mosque of Córdoba. It is a beautiful and fascinating building that symbolizes the many religious changes Córdoba has undergone over the centuries. Today, the Mezquita is the Cathedral of Córdoba, but the vast majority of its art and architecture...Read More

View all Life Lessons

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New Content on my Site

Article:
From Self-Interest to Universal Principles: Kohlberg's Six Stages of Moral Development

Claire in the Media:

Listen to Claire on Air: Radio Al-Ansaar past programmes online

About These Newsletters

You may have been forwarded this email by a friend. In that case, allow me to introduce myself. I am a psychologist, speaker, trainer, coach and hat lover based in Durban, South Africa.

My goal is to inspire you to make the changes necessary to live the life of your dreams! I believe that by developing your YOU-Q - the term I have created to describe your unique intelligence, creativity and wisdom - you can find your Inner winner and live a Be-YOU-tiful life right now.

On my website you'll find more ideas to get you thinking about life, love, work and other important STUFF.

Contact me for more information or visit the website:

+27 82 491 1136
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www.clairenewton.co.za

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